Ok so this may very well be a long blog post but do you know what? That’s ok, I have taken a lot of positive steps to regain control of my mental health recently and the biggest by far is asking to be put back on antidepressants….for a long time I have felt out of the loop mentally struggling to just do the basic daily tasks like house work and laundry.
It was scary for me to admit that I wasn’t coping very well but my boyfriend has been amazingly supportive and encouraging with me, I hate taking medication as it would be so easy for me to take more than I was meant to (this is how I previously thought btw) but now I know that the medication is needed.
So that was positive step no 1 taken step number 2 was to request a bipolar assessment and I’m hoping that the lady I spoke to has made the referral for me because I know that there is something wrong with me beyond my depression and anxiety, and I’m happy to have finally been brave enough to fight for my mental health I just need to fully understand the issues I’m going through.
Step 3 is requesting sterilisation!!! This is by far the most scariest step of all as I know I will be in agony as I recover from the op, but at the same time my family is complete and I don’t want to keep having contraceptive injections every 3 months to prevent pregnancy.
I hate needles, I do not like them one bit, I hate the pain in my arm and the muscle spasms I sometimes get when the needle is being put in, they make the pain worse.
And finally step four, requesting self referral forms for therapy…this is going to be a difficult journey as there is way to many knots to unravel and a whole heap anger and self doubt and hatred to wade through with my non existent child hood, a history of being strong for everyone else and suffering in silence for over 10 years of my life, finally became brave enough to speak out and everyone who promised to be there for me no matter what has full on abandoned me and left me alone.
I am finally slowly but surely gaining confidence in myself and I have to admit that a huge part of this is my Herbalife journey, the amazing community that I have became a part of has helped encourage me to seek the help that I desperately need and helped me finally see through the BS that I was telling myself.
This has been invaluable to me and I owe so much to this amazing community I finally no longer feel alone in this Journey and this has also been a very big factor in why I have constantly held myself back from working towards my full potential and fully loose weight.
For the first time ever a I am consistently loosing weight and I am very happy about that, though when I workout/walk/jog I do get a tightness in my chest that can and has felt very constrictive at times BUT I don’t give up I slow down as needed and remind myself to remain calm and not over think anything.